So I just came back from the gym. I literally walked in the door, pulled out my computer, and started writing this blog post. I’m still in my sweaty gym clothes and old ratty trainers and I really need to take a shower. I’m also sitting on my bed, which is probably a bad choice considering that last sentence. (I have to wash my sheets today anyways though, it’s laundry day for me) So there’s that.
Anyways, I’m currently totally in that whole “working for my summer body” mode, where you realize, oh shoot it’s less than 2 months until June and I still look like a potato. I’m half beating myself up about not staying in shape all year long and half pleased with myself that at least I started last month. (In March) I’ll at least have had a little bit of time to get my butt in gear before mid-summer arrives.
I do try to eat healthier and I exercise or walk a couple of times a week. I go through phases where I go all out, hard-core. But it hasn’t been nearly enough to reach my fitness goals.
My issue with fitness is that I’m an extremely “all or nothing” type of person. Moderation? Never heard of it. Working my way up to things? I don’t know what that means. Perfectionist? That’s me. In my head, I want everything that I do to be done perfectly. But then if I can’t do it perfectly, I lose interest in doing it at all.
And the bad thing is, I know I’m setting myself up for failure, but I can’t help it. It’s not good to be so invested. I get into obsession mode and then wear myself out. I get that from my Dad. When I start a project, I have to go full speed ahead, no modifications, no breaks. But when things don’t turn out the way I thought they would? If things aren’t happening fast enough? New plan! New lists! New project! Ah.
Anyways, I’ve set up a couple of fail-safes to keep myself sweating and fitness-ing.
1. ) Keeping myself motivated. I bought myself a new Victorias Secret bikini a couple of weeks ago. It just came in the mail yesterday and it’s absolutely adorable. It’s keeping me motivated to get in better shape to feel more confident at the pool/beach. I want to buy myself some more new clothes as I work out. It will get me excited about getting fit and wearing cute clothes, instead of hiding behind ugly baggy stuffs because I’m self-conscious.
2.) Checking in with someone I need to keep myself on track! So right now I’m checking in with my mum every month and going over my goals. (Not just with fitness, but goals in general) Holding myself accountable to someone will hopefully keep me on the right path.
3.) Putting work into other parts of my appearance I find that for me, putting work into other parts of my appearance keeps me motivated to stay in shape. Dressing nicer when I go out, using teeth whitening strips, using a little bit of tanning mousse, etc. I also am currently going blonde. I usually never go to the salon, so going every month makes me feel like I’m having a mini makeover! And I want a fitter summer body to go with my lighter summer hair!
4.) Progress Pics Ah. The dreaded progress pictures. I don’t know about you, but I don’t necessarily jump for joy for standing in a bathing suit taking unflattering photos of myself….no posing or filters or hide behind. All complaint aside though, they’re actually extremely helpful. Sometimes I get discouraged when I don’t see changes happening. You sort of miss the little changes along your journey if you don’t have progress pictures to look back on. Even if you wear the same shirt size, or stayed at the same weight, sometimes you’ll notice little changes in your pictures. Things you usually wouldn’t notice, because you see your body every day. I keep an album on my phone of motivational pictures, progress pictures, and older pictures of myself from when I was younger/fitter.
5.) Working out with my family My mom, my 3 sisters and I all go to the same gym. We are all trying to go every morning together. I think having all of us to keep each other accountable to waking up and going to the gym is a good thing.
So right now, I’m trying to make fitness more of a lifestyle. I just want to be more active. Take my dog on more walks, get to the gym every morning, stretch while I’m watching tv, etc. I’m trying to make healthier food choices as well. My family and I went to Dennys late last night after being in the recording studio all afternoon, and I chose salmon over waffles. **pats self on back** **sobs quietly** My family eats out a lot because we are always on the road, and I got myself into a lot of bad eating habits. I’ve been choosing what looks the most delicious (CHICKEN NUGGETS, GET IN MAH BELLY) instead of what is going to make me feel the most delicious. Hahahahaha. Sorry, joking joking.
Anyways, I’m just trying to
complain about my life be honest. Keep it real. On social media these days, everything is always like “try this fitness tea and lose 20 pounds in a week!”. Theres all those youtube fitness routine videos of 12 year olds who do light yoga and make it look so easy to stay in shape. And the fitness gurus who say “I just honestly don’t want junk food! I just think about the way it makes me feel and then decide I’d rather have kale than ice cream!!” fml lol.
But for me, fitness has always been a piece of cake. No, I don’t mean easy. I mean a literal piece of cake. Like, when I think about fitness I get frustrated and just want to eat a piece of cake.
But seriously though, it’s never been simple. I eat when I’m emotional, I don’t understand the term “runners high” and I love cheesecake more than life itself. It’s something I have to go out of my way to think about. I’d like to say that I’m 100% comfortable in my own skin, but that wouldn’t be true. And I think that a lot of people feel the same way.
But looks aren’t everything. I know I’m a kind person and I try to be the best person I can be. So to me, it’s ok to admit that there are days when I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see. Because that’s not really what life’s about, anyways. And that’s not really everything that I am. I like who I am as a person, and that’s what matters. You can love who you are without loving every inch of your body.
But this summer, I really want to crush my fitness goals. I don’t want to give up. There’s a quote that says “If you’re tired of starting over, stop quitting.”. I don’t want to start over again. I want to wear my bikini and be in the best shape of my life. I want to feel stronger and more flexible and more confident. I want- wait are those fries?