I am exactly one month away from turning 23. Growing up, I never would have expected to still be living at home at this age. It being 2018, living at home in your 20’s is actually pretty common. However, growing up, I always equated a person living at home past college-age as being a no-life loser. This was mostly thanks to my dad, who was pretty old-fashioned about most things. I remember him telling me once that if he did his job as a parent we would “Feel the need to move out, and the want to visit home”. (This was years ago, but it was something along those lines). I don’t feel as bad about living at home as I would have expected to growing up. My sisters and I all pitch in to keep the house going with chores/bills/etc. I especially don’t feel bad because my mom wants me to be here.
I often find myself considering when the right time to move out is. On one hand, I think I would very much like to have my own space, to run my house/apartment the way that I’d like to, and to live a more independent life. I have this idea that if I move out, I’ll be able to find myself among the struggle of being alone. On the other hand, I would miss my family, I would be leaving my Mom alone when she recently lost a husband, and I can’t cook. (haha!) Logistically, it helps to live at home. Being in a band with my sisters, we all spend tons of time with each other anyways, so being at home is kind of like rooming with your bandmates.
I’ve searched through a lot of silly buzzfeed articles and blog posts about moving out. There are lists titled “When You Know That It Is Time To Move Out”. These lists include “you love to go out”, “bringing your significant other home is awkward”, “yourÂ parents still ask you to come home by a curfew”, etc. But honestly, deciding when to leave home is a lot more difficult than these issues. It is for me, anyways.
I grew up homeschooled. Then when I was 13 years old my siblings and I started a band that would change the course of the next decade of my life. We work, travel, and rehearse together. I’ve never held a “normal” job. My dad was sick for most of my life, and it was necessary that I was home to help take care of him and my younger sisters. I haven’t lived a normal life. On one hand, I am extremely thankful for this. My family is extremely tight knit. I have have hardly missed a day of my little sisters growing up. And when they come to me for life advice and I am readily available, it means the world to me. Practicing, holding band meetings, recording covers together is easy. I spent so much time with my dad and now that he is gone, I cherish every memory. On the other hand, I know that I am probably more codependent on my family than most people my age. I have a hard time imagining life away from them. My life in some ways was very traumatic, and in other ways extremely protected. This has created a sort of webbing between myself and my family that is hard to unstick from. I know that my life has been different, and in a lot of ways, I want to continue living this different life.
When it comes to personal growth, I want to do what is best for me. And sometimes, it is hard to know what is best.
I won’t be moving out in the near future anyways; with school and work I don’t think I’d even have the time. Not to mention the savings…. haha….But that’s a whole other 20-something soap opera tragedy. 😂
Right now, I am comfortable laying in my uncomfortable twin size bed listening to my little sister Mimi play piano down the hall. Even if I can’t ever convince my sister Ella to clean her half of the room that we share.
What about you guys? When did you know that it was time to move out of your parent’s home?